It amazes me how little we, as women, trust ourselves. When someone else says that we feel a certain way about ourselves, we trust their opinion more than we trust our own. When it comes to our bodies, we trust doctors, husbands and people that we haven't even met, more than we trust what we feel.
Why is that? Why do we so totally discount what our bodies tell us, if others are telling us something different? Is it because we consider them more important than we are? Do we think that they are smarter or better educated about our bodies than we could possibly be?? We live in our bodies 24/7 yet others know it better than we do? Why do we think that's the case?
As a Doula, I talk to women a lot. When you're pregnant, it's only natural to read everything you can about pregnancy and babies. When I was pregnant, I did the same. I wanted to know what was best for me, for the baby, and how to give my family the best start possible. Here's the problem, and it's a big one... The experts don't always agree.
Yep, you heard me right, they don't agree. They never have, and they never will. When I was a baby, I was started on solid food almost immediately. Two weeks after I was born, My mother was mixing a bit of cereal into my formula, and I was gulping it down like candy. Now, they tell you that solid food before the age of 6 months is harmful to the baby. It will cause obesity, allergies, and all manner of evil things.
Here's the rub, since they started giving this advice, obesity rates in children are up, and so are allergy rates.
I'm not saying that they're wrong, I'm saying that perhaps they don't have the whole picture. I'm also not saying that, when it comes to your child, children, or yourself, you shouldn't trust those that call themselves experts. They have a lot to say, and they are often right. What I am trying to say, is that you need to trust yourself as well.
We, as women, are not stupid. We are not uninformed and we do not need to follow, blindly, every piece of advice we're given. The Divine, whether you call it Jehovah, Allah or the Earth Mother, (this isn't and all inclusive list) gave each and every one of us a brain. We have feelings and intuitions as well. When it comes to birth or child rearing, we need to do things that we think best, not because the doctors are telling us to, but because we have decided that it's the best way for us.
Come to think of it, that's really not bad advice in other areas of life as well.
Live, laugh, love...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Birth Professional... Don't try this at home!!
How many times have we watched something, and seen or heard the disclaimer, "We are professionals, Don't Try This A Home!!" The medical profession has been using this disclaimer, in regards to birth, for a long time. My question is this.... Why NOT try this at home? What is it about birthing at home, that scares women so much?
What I hear most is... "I want to be in a hospital if something goes wrong." What, exactly, are you afraid will "go wrong?"
No, really. It's not a rhetorical question, I want to know. What are you afraid of?? You see, it's our fear that keeps us from experiencing the birth of our children as naturally as possible. We read things because, of course, we want to educate ourselves, and so much of what we read scares the living hell out of us. We become frightened and we don't know what to do.
What's safe to eat, what isn't safe to eat, what vitamins does the baby need, will this hurt the baby, will that hurt the baby? Great Googly Moogly... I'm willing at this point, to never leave the house again, and I'm not pregnant. I read what's out there, the advice that is being given to pregnant women and it occurs to me that, 28 years ago, when my first daughter was born, I did everything wrong. It's a wonder that my daughters were born at all. They should have died before birth, or during birth, and how in the world did they survive things like sleeping on their stomachs???
People ask, "Why do I need a Doula?' This is my answer... You need a Doula, or your daughter needs a Doula, or your Best Friend needs a Doula simply because you can't do this alone. You don't need to do this alone. While you're in labor, you need someone there to help and support you. Someone that can help you cut through the fear and make the birth of your family something wonderful.
What I hear most is... "I want to be in a hospital if something goes wrong." What, exactly, are you afraid will "go wrong?"
No, really. It's not a rhetorical question, I want to know. What are you afraid of?? You see, it's our fear that keeps us from experiencing the birth of our children as naturally as possible. We read things because, of course, we want to educate ourselves, and so much of what we read scares the living hell out of us. We become frightened and we don't know what to do.
What's safe to eat, what isn't safe to eat, what vitamins does the baby need, will this hurt the baby, will that hurt the baby? Great Googly Moogly... I'm willing at this point, to never leave the house again, and I'm not pregnant. I read what's out there, the advice that is being given to pregnant women and it occurs to me that, 28 years ago, when my first daughter was born, I did everything wrong. It's a wonder that my daughters were born at all. They should have died before birth, or during birth, and how in the world did they survive things like sleeping on their stomachs???
People ask, "Why do I need a Doula?' This is my answer... You need a Doula, or your daughter needs a Doula, or your Best Friend needs a Doula simply because you can't do this alone. You don't need to do this alone. While you're in labor, you need someone there to help and support you. Someone that can help you cut through the fear and make the birth of your family something wonderful.
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