Unplugging

When was the last time you unplugged from the world? Really unplugged, I mean. When was the last time you turned off the cell phone and the computer, turned off the TV, and just spent time with your mate, your children, or other loved ones? When was the last time you spent time with just yourself? I'll bet you can't remember, can you? It's a fact of modern life, that we, and those we deal with, feel that if they can't get in touch with us at any time of day or night, that there is something wrong.

Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? What is it that makes us think we have to be available to others? Is it necessary to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Parenting is a 24 hour a day job, but does being an employee, or a daughter, or a patron of the Dry Cleaners need to be? What about time for ourselves, do we not deserve some time to just be? Will the office fall apart if we take an hour or so to nurture our relationship with ourselves or our families?

The last time I asked someone this question, what I got back was a look of profound confusion. "Turn off my phone?" she said. "But what if someone needs me?"

"Then they have to wait, I guess," was my reply.

You would have thought that I had suggested torturing a small animal then staking it out on the front lawn. You would have thought, by her reaction, that I had gone insane and needed to be locked up. Immediately, if not sooner. Yesterday or the day before would be the best option.

Why not unplug for an hour or so a day? Why not tell the world to wait so we can take care of, what we say, is the most important things in our lives? Do our mates, children and ourselves not deserve our undivided attention?

Pregnancy and early motherhood are both introspective times. We need to go into ourselves to find what we need to do our best. We must find what we're made of, so to speak, to learn what's important. How can we do that, when we are constantly dealing with others? How can we take care of ourselves, or relationships and our children if the office, or the dry cleaners, or the nosy neighbors can always intrude?

Even later, when the children are grown, don't our husbands or partners deserve attention as well? We also need to take time for ourselves, away from the grind, to find out who we are away from them. We need to find the core of ourselves, our beliefs and convictions. We need to have a self away from the expectations and demands of others.  We need to be whole people, not just somebody's Wife or somebody's Mother.

Women, in general, live longer than men, and children grow up and move out, so when those are gone, who are we? What do we want and need? Unplug for a while and find out.